Emotion: Strength or Weakness

I was sitting on my parents living room couch, texting a dear friend about the frustrations of emotions, and the ability they have to zap energy.  I've come to realize that I'm aware of my emotions in two situations: when I'm feeling worn out in every single aspect: physically, emotionally, and spiritually or, when I'm feeling really happy and someone I'm close to can't/won't share take part in the joy I'm experiencing.

For those that know me, they are fully aware that I'm a highly emotional person. I'm a "feeler" by nature. I connect with others when I can openly and honestly share what I'm feeling. I know that's a woman thing, but I also know that woman are often seen as the weaker party because of that. That makes me livid. It makes it seem like women were designed with a defect. I've heard christian and non christian men say that "its because women are so emotional and unable to make tough decisions that men are called to be the head of the family." Maybe there is an element of truth to that, but our emotions aren't defects, they're our strength. Behind every successful man is a strong woman, whether that woman be his wife, mother, sister.... it doesn't matter. I don't know of a man who doesn't want a woman by his side, cheering him on to the best of her ability, be overjoyed with him for his victories, aches for his loses, and believing in him regardless. If she said it mundanely I doubt he'd believe she believed in him. Emotions, for me at least, influence just about everything, especially my actions. Now, I'll be the first to admit that acting in emotion can be a bad thing, a very bad thing. However, it can also be a great thing. When a child shows his mother an excellent report card and is rewarded with a genuine hug and honest congratulations, "I'm so proud of you!" there is more satisfaction there, than seeing his name on the honor roll. When a friend is devastated by some tragedy in her life, the comfort of being able to sit and weep a supportive a friend, a friend who you know is hurting with you, is more comfort than all the money in the world.

Please know that I am not hating on people who aren't emotional. God knows we need people like that -- that's why He created them!! In fact, in 66 days I'm marrying a man who isn't emotional, not like me at least. And, it's one of the things I adore most about him. If I'm the waves of the ocean, he's the light house I crash into, steady and dependable. I need his dependability, and he needs my wild emotions, even though at times they can get on his nerves (and mine :)).

Emotions: life would be so bland without them. Despite the weakness that I feel because of them at times, they keep me going, they keep me growing.

Last Friday Night

Friday has been my favorite day of the week, since forever. But, now it's my really favorite day of the week because its the day I get to see Matt :)  We'd both had a long week, the was preceded by a long weekend and the deal was that Friday night was date night, our night. I exactly what I wanted to do, go to Stromboli's, then head out to the refugee. The weather had been glorious all week and Matt was the person I really wanted to enjoy it with. So that's exactly what we did. And it was awesome.

this is the look Matt gives me when he's wanting to say: "Nikki, put the camera away. I'm smiling because I have too. What are you doing?"

The last two pieces of my 10" veggie pizza....and yes, I ate the whole thing.

Stromboli's patio decor.

The breathtaking sunset out at the refugee.

EGR

Of all the photos I've taken, these seem to me to be some of the more successful ones. For the first time, I really worked at being deliberate with the lighting, as well as the composition. I didn't want this shoot to look like a posed, perfectly put together setting; I wanted it to be what it was: a beautiful teenage girl in front of the camera, sporting an everyday outfit, next to no make up, in her backyard. I wanted to present her as herself, not someone who trying to mimic the models of today. Emily Grace: you are so beautiful, you are gracefully getting through one of the most challenging stages in life. I promise you, these years will be over before you know. Keep focusing on the eternal, you're doing great. Love you.

Even though this shot was way over exposed I'm kinda likin' the way it turned out.

I absolutely LOVE this photo. The drama in it is Ah-MAZ-Ing!!

 

shooting into the sun = new favorite thing

Well Hello there, Miss Thing

Who has flawless skin as a teenager? I'm 20 and mine still doesn't look that good!

 

Bittersweet

After a weekend of traveling and rain, I'm sitting outside in my parents backyard, soaking in the beautiful 70 degrees weather. It feels like fall, the time when school starts, the air becomes crisp, and a hot latte is the perfect way to relax. This fall feels so surreal. I'm not in school, and I don't have job. Instead, I'm living under my parents roof for the last time. It is so bittersweet. The bitterness is being away from Matt, the sweetness is knowing that I'll be with him forever in 74 days. The bitterness is leaving home, leaving what I know how to do, leaving what I'm used to. The sweetness is that I get to start a new way a life, with my best friend by my side. That is beautiful thing to dream about.

Salt Water

Mr. & Mrs. Gray

August 27, 2011. They'd been waiting for this day for months. There is no way to track the hours of preparation that went into making the day beautiful. Rachel  - you did an awesome job!! Even in classic, Mississippi August weather you looked gorgeous and I'm pretty sure its safe to say everyone had a great time! :) I'm so happy for both of you and so thankful that I got to be a part of your day!

Possibly my favorite photo.

Rachel is incredibly talented...chemical engineer, artist, fashionista.....we'll go ahead and put model on the list too.

The rings that both Ricky and Rachel wore till their wedding day :)

So this little lady was ridiculously adorable. Not only that, but she moved at about a million miles an hour...

Rachel, you are SO BEAUTIFUL!

CONGRATULATIONS MR. AND MRS. GRAY!!!

Cars and Cornbread

 There is no telling how many miles we've driven together; to and from Starkville and Jackson, over and over again, the awesome spring break trip to Destin, the drives to Birmingham, the trips to the coast. We've driven different vehicles too: my car, your truck, your mom's van as well as my mom's. The time we've spent traveling together is awesome. There are times when we talk about what's gonna on with life and other times we jam to the music so loudly you're afraid we're gonna blow the speakers out, and I end up sounding hoarse. Sometimes we sit there quietly, you'll have your arm around me, or be holding my hand, and we're both completely content with silence. And sometimes, we even have arguments "discussions." I'll never forget the first drive, all the way to Branson, MO. You drove and I was the DJ. I think you liked the music I played....or else you lied :) You played "Cornbread" for me by Dave Matthews and I found you so enticing with your favorite hat on backwards and the meaningful conversations that occurred. I remember thinking that it didn't feel. Sometimes it still doesn't. But I do know that I will never forget that very first drive.