stop + look

it was weird driving out there by myself. usually, i would be in his truck, with the windows down, my hair in my face, music blaring, him holding my hand. loving it. but not last night. last night i went out there by myself. it was a little weird and a little scary. i didn't let myself think about that for too long though. i couldn't. the reason i was going out there was to take photographs.  the whole drive i saw things that might look good in a photo, but then i wondered if it was something that i thought i should take a photo of or, if it was something that i needed to take a photo of. regardless though, i didn't pull over. again, i was too scared too, too scared of not being able to get the right photo, looking like a freak. (i care way too much about what people think of me.but, then again, i was on the side of the road, with a camera, at dusk....creeper!) i finally arrived and got out the car. focus. breathe.
  
first click. not right. adjust - everything manual. shutter speed. f-stop. click. blurry. zoom. focus. click click. new subject. click. not there yet. different white balance. click. wait a second. stop. look. new angle. click got it.