They say that the people who go crazy in jail are the ones who are waiting for the verdict, not the ones with the death sentence, nor the ones who will remain in a cell for the next ten to fifteen years. Now, in no way do I feel like I'm in jail, in fact, I'm feeling quite the opposite. However, there are so many things I'm anticipating, so many things I'm curious about and things that I have to decide. What will marriage be like? Is it like dating someone but living together? How my relationship with my parents change? I will no longer be under their authority, but for 20 years I've been seeking their approval, their guidance, I've been "working" to become someone they're proud of. How will my relationship change between Matthew's parents and I? I've already noticed how conversations get into deeper, more meaningful topics and its been wonderful. What will it be like to have four parents, but not be seeking their approval and not seeking out their "permission" but my husband's?
In an attempt to keep my head from exploding from all the questions, I emailed one of my cousins who now live in Australia with her husband and three children. She gently offered kind reassurance saying that all the questions and fears I had were completely normal :) An awesome suggestion she had is to start reading the Psalms 150 days before the wedding.
"Blessed is the man...
[who's] delight is in the law of the Lord
and on his law he meditates day and night.
He is like a tree planted by streams of water
that yields its fruit in its season
and its leaf does not wither.
In all he does, he prospers.
Psalm 1: 1a, 3-4
I guess that can be my prayer for mine and Matt's life together, that our delight is in His law, we bear good fruit in season, and that in all we do, we prosper. To God be the Glory.
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