the weekend

he played poker on friday night. i stayed home and watched tv. tiredness was the reason for that decision. my parents came up for the game and it was so lovely to have them to ourselves. and yesterday, oh yesterday; we cleaned, we laughed, we cuddled, we walked and had a simply delightful time just being together.

flowers from him taken while trying out a new lens

so many thanks

i found this email in my inbox today. 

Trying. Trying is worth everything... you have won half the battle! You are winning by even stepping forward with your dreams, look I'm not sure anyone orchestrates our lives but US. Everything you have done up to this point YOU have done. Don't give up on your dreams and don't feel defeated. Think of all the people who NEVER tried and live everyday with regret. You are far more accomplished than so many, and you should be proud of your work. Pinterest can be your pal... pin your work...HELL I'll pin your work... you never know where it will go. The right eyes is all you need!

thank you all so much for those of you who read this blog, look at my photos on facebook....you guys are amazing and i can't thank you enough. 

even if i don't....

according to darwin, only the fittest survive, those who adapt, those learn how to work their circumstances for them rather than have their circumstances work against them. if that is true, which i believe it is, (to an extent at least), change is mandatory, completely and utterly necessary for survival. this means that plans change.

i look at what my plans were my senior year of high school:
get a freakin' awesome scholarship to get out of mississippi
obtain a money maker degree
travel
marry a hunk

thus far:
i've married a hunk (cha ching :))
moved deeper into mississippi culture
well into a money pit degree that does have the potential to someday possibly be a money maker...maybe
and done very little traveling.

clearly, my life is panning out the way i thought it would. not!!! i look back, laugh, and wonder what the heck happened, and what on earth God is doing. but as i look back, i can't help but look forward and wonder. will i be able to use my degree, or will it be wasted? why am i even getting it? will matt and i be in starkville for the rest of our lives? the questions go on. and on. and on. the question front and foremost though is if i don't make it as a photographer, will i be a failure. what if i never sell my work, make money with it? will all those hours in studios and dollars in equipment and classes pay off? will it be worth it, even if i don't make it. will it be ok, will i be ok, if the plans change again, or rather if God orchestrates my life in such a way so that things don't work out according to plan. will i still believe that He is working all things good? ah, now that my friends, is the real question.

escape

we're off to escape for a few days.
just me and him.

and all i can say
is praise the Lord for breaks.

confessions of an art major 1.2

i was so mad i cried. which isn't very surprising for those of you that know me. the question that i hadn't allowed myself to ask, to think about, to dwell, the question i shoved to the very bottom, burst, erupted, exploded from my mouth. WHY OH WHY OH WHY OH WHY AM I GETTING STUPID THIS DEGREE?????? i don't like it. the classes i take really aren't going to help me. it's way too time consuming. there seems to be about a one in a millon chance i'll be hired in my field of training. my taste and my teacher's taste are about as opposite as they can be, it's costing too much, it hardly seems like a wise investment, blahblahblah, blahblah, blahblah.....

he responded: because i want you to.

i responded with silence.

i went to study and as i cleared off my desk, i stumbled across this image. i first saw the photograph either my sophomore or junior year of high school and i'd don't think there's been one more inspirational to me. i dream of taking photos as powerful as this one. and now, a day later (because it can take me that long to finish a post) i've realized why i'm getting this degree, maybe even why i want to. it's because i want to inspire someone with my work. but even more than that, i want to help someone with my work. how that is going to happen, i have no idea. i just hope and pray and believe it is going to happen.

image by Jerome Delay, found here

confessions of an art major

that would be the name of my blog if i could rename it, the reason being that i feel like i do some appalling things that no true art major would do. for instance, last week the art department drove to  to hattiesburg to go hear christo give a talk, making a quick stop in laurel to see the lauren rogers museum of art. as i walked around the first floor of the museum and was supposed to be admiring paintings from the eighteen and nineteen hundreds all i was really thinking was wow, these are so boring. i did feel a little bit better after seeing the drawings by christo and loving them but guys, old art is just not my thing. anyways, after about an hour there we hopped back on the bus and arrived at hattiesburg. a few things about christo: he is the ultimate cool dude. seriously. he's got a white halo of hair surrounding the bald spot on his head and it's awesome. only a brilliant, french, 70+ artist could pull it off. it's also the perfect hair style for his military styled jacket with jeans and white shirt look. the other thing to know about christo is that he is french, very french, as in still speaks in a verystrongdifficulttounderstandfrenchaccent. so, as i was reclined in the comfortable auditorium chair in a dark room, i suddenly found myself being woken up by the sound of a vigorous applause. i'd fallen asleep through the lecture. i am a terrible art major. and the best part it was that the head of the department who just so happens to be one of my professors, was sitting behind me.  i did stay awake for the q+a though. and seriously, if you ever get to hear him speak or see some of his work, do it. he really is a fantastic, intensely energetic speaker. just make sure you are sipping caffeine and well rested before hand; he accent is awesome, yet difficult at times. but definitely go. it's well worth it.

this is from a piece he's working on now. image from here

art by nature is illogical, irrational. - christo

personalized peach pie

i think i was cursed given sweet teeth rather than a sweet tooth. seriously. i would eat dessert after every meal if i could. when matt asked where i wanted to go for my birthday dinner, i knew where i wanted to go to for dessert before i knew where i wanted to go to dinner. so, when i found this dessert online somewhere, i knew i needed to try it. it's pretty much the perfect summer dessert: easy, fruity, and light, meaning you can eat this five nights in a row and not feel bad about it! :)

you need:
1 ripe nectarine {you could use a peach, plum, apricot.....}
1 crescent roll
about 1 tsp of honey
brown sugar {optional}

simply cut the pit out of the nectarine and replace with honey. 

next, wrap the nectarine in the crescent roll. if you like, 

put a little brown sugar at the top of the roll to make it just a tiny bit sweeter. 

then bake at 350F for 12-15 minutes until the crescent is golden. serve hot. 

for maximum deliciousness serve with vanilla ice cream :)

the big red barn

when i took this photo, i couldn't help but think of that lovely book by margaret wise brown.

as a child, i read it over and over.

what the reality is

the bottom line was, i wanted to be super{wo}man. i wanted to be a healthy homemadefromscratch meals, a clean house, thriving business, time with family, keep in touch with friends, involved in church, in good shape, perfectly put together kind of woman.


but the reality is:
i still think of myself as a teenage girl
even though i can legally drink
our apartment is kinda messy
i love store bought spaghetti sauce
and frozen pizza
i'm thrilled when all the laundry is finally put away
i talk to my mom about every ten days
and depending on your outlook that's a good or bad things
starting a business is utterly exhausting
when i plan to work out and i go work out are different
my makeup routine is the definition of bare minimum
i absolutely love tee shirts and jeans
with my hair in a pony tail
and comfy flip flops

thankfully, my hubby's ok, even happy, with it like that

the firsts of ten thousand

I've looked and looked but for the life of me I can't find the website, or rather the web page again. I was just skimming through the links that had been generated by Google and one sentence stood out to me, like it was in bold, uppercase letters. It read something along the lines of "Don't worry about being a professional; focus on being a photographer, and maybe the professional will come later."  I've been chewing on it every since. You see, for a while now,  I'd lost sight of that conviction. My mind was on starting a company, not developing the art, the heart of the business. According to Malcolm Gladwell, author of Outliers, anyone who wishes to master anything; the arts, sports, a trade, use of technology, must devote ten thousand hours to it. That is at least ten thousand photographs, if not twenty or thirty thousand. So, here are my first of ten thousand.

Untitled.

I have so much respect for people who blog daily. How they have ides, stories, or rather make simple stories interesting, is amazing to me. I can't tell you how many times I start a post and get about two sentences in and get totally and completely stuck. Or, I think of something interesting I want to write about and then once my fingers touch the keyboard the idea is zapped from my mind, just like that. It kind of makes sense though; since April (specifically the 14th, when Matt took the FE - and btw, he PASSED!!) we've been crazy busy and my mind just hasn't stopped. Also, I've started a another blog for my photo gigs. After years of dreaming about owning my own business, I decided I should just go for it. Thanks to all you who have been so supportive, especially my hubby. And, because every post needs a photo, here's a favorite from last weekend.

I hope you all are having a wonderful week and are looking forward to a wonderful weekend :)






 

19 things

1. some people don't qualify photography as art.
2. most people believe all you need is "a nice camera"
3. i beg to differ.
4. my semester is completely over with, exams and all, in one week.
5. my school career should be completed within the next three semesters.
6. Lord willing, that is.
7. my favorite painting is Open Window by Henri Matisse.
8. it was painted in 1907.
9. my favorite sculpture is Nike.
10. it's pronounced Nee-Kay
11. it means winged victory.
12. at one point i knew the date is was created.
13. but, i forgot it.
14. i'm on my second cup of coffee today.
16. and i'm very much looking forward to 6:30 tomorrow night.
17. on Saturday I'm headed to T-Town to do a photo shoot
18. an all girls photo shoot.
19. i think it'll be a blast :)

ps. this photo has absolutely nothing to do with this post other than the fact that it is totally random.

19 things

1. I really can't believe it's February.
2. This is the second week I've worked out.
3. The working out is going well.
4. What is not going good is my Poptart craving. Specifically blueberry Poptarts.
5. My husband has started eating salads for breakfast.
6. I think that is weird.

7. My "new" favorite preacher to listen to is Mark Driscoll.
8. He deals with real life issues in real life ways. He's awesome.

 9. I met with a bride a few weeks ago about photographing her wedding.
10. I'm REALLY excited.
11.If you know anyone who wants to be photographed, please let me know!
12. I love photographing people.
13. And I'm sure Matt would greatly appreciate me not using him. Constantly.

14. I'm pretty addicted to Pinterest.
15. I'm also addicted to The Big Bang Theory.
16. The fifth season needs to hurry up and come out.
17. I don't really care about the Super Bowl.

18. It's been a while since I have.

19. The beach is calling name.

subject and subjectivity

Why anyone would choose to be an artist is beyond me. Your work is constantly under attach, not because the work you did was wrong, but because it wasn't right to the critic. I am an art major, I am preparing for review, and I can't help but wonder why. Why am I am doing this? What on earth is possibly motivating me to become an artist?

I need 10 photos. Black and white. Photos that show potential, photos that show an understanding of light, composition, intriguing subject matter, space, depth, focused. Beauty. All of a sudden, any photo I sort of liked becomes totally inadequate. Inadequate in to a critical viewer at least. But, to me, the photo is beautiful, full of character and honesty. It brings about a smile, a fond memory. And then I remember why: because I love the memories captured on a print.

Australia, June 2006

Twenty Eleven

I cannot believe that soon I will be dating stuff with the year 2012 attached at the end. WOW! Where has this year gone???

January: The new year started out with a snow day and it was wonderfully low key... food, best friend, an attempt at sledding, and relaxation.

Febuary: Matt and I celebrated our first Valentine's Day together. We went to this incredible Japanese restaurant. It was lovely. Funny story: at the restaurant while Matt and I were eating this little girl was walking around checking out different couples. She walked by our table once, and then on a return trip, she looked Matt in the eye and gave my date the most flirtatious smile any four year old has ever given.

March: Two words - spring break. We drove to Destin with Matt's brother and some friends. We got sun burnt, ate great food and had a blast.

April: We went to the first of six weddings this year (seven if you count our's). One of Matt's childhood friends got married to his high school sweetheart. Also, Matt GRADUATED from MSU with a degree is Civil Engineering. Whoo Hoo!!

May: We got engaged :D

June: I turned twenty, we attended another two weddings, and I took two classes to see if I wanted to major in Special Needs Education. I don't.

July: Crazy busy month. I found my wedding dress, we rented a ski boat for a day with some friends, Matt turned 24, our engagement photos were taken ANNNND I moved back home. It was busy.

August: A good friend of Matt's got married and it was the first wedding I got to photograph.

September: Uhm....I know that's when the wedding invitations went out. I'm not sure what else happened.

October: My aunt from Australia came to visit us for a few days with 3 friends, my Mum's best friend from Australia stayed with us for 3 weeks, and I was given 3 wedding showers. Many other things happened, I'm just not sure what.

November: The relatives from my Dad's side of the family came in and they were incredible. The helped pulled together so many last minuted details for the wedding! Matt and I got married, spend out first Thanksgiving together, and spent our first week of married life on a cruise.

December: We celebrated our fist month of married life and adjusted living together -- actually we are still adjusting. We attended our final wedding for the year, and spent time with both of our families for Christmas.

We are ending the year with a trip to Tennesse; a few days in Nashville and then to Chattanooga with some friends and my family.  I'm so excited for the New Year. God Bless and a Happy New Year, y'all!

one month

Five years ago, if someone had asked me "where do you see yourself in five years?", married probably would have been the last answer I would have given them. Nevertheless, that's what I am. Several times, both Matt and I have been asked "how is married life?" and there seems to be only one answer that is truthful: it's incredible. It's an incredible joy living with my best friend. It's incredibly weird how weird guys are. It's incredible going to sleep at night, knowing my best friend is an arm's length away or less. It's incredibly challenging switching from "me" decisions to "we" decisions. It's incredible to know that this person isn't going anywhere, it's incredibly terrifying being so vulnerable with someone, letting them see your true self. I love being married, it also drives me nuts at times. I used to think that by the time I actually got married, I'd have it all together; I'd be mature, grown up, sophisticated....all that good stuff. But I don't - I'm still the same mess that I was before I got married. That is what is so beautiful, so incredible about being married; I didn't have to get it all together for him to marry - he took me, mess and all. Thank you Lord for a husband who strives to love me as You love your church.

Becoming One : The Day We Said I Do

I cannot believe that as of today Matt and I will have been husband and wife for a month. It seems like just yesterday we were finishing up little details, yet at the same time, it seems we've been married for months. There are certain things I remember very well about the day: Mum waking me up and serving me a latte and eggs for breakfast, being walked down the aisle and my hand being placed into Matt's by my dad.  I remember all the kindness that was shown to us and on that day and months prior.  For the life of me though, I couldn't concentrate on what our pastor was saying during the ceremony, even though everyone said it was excellent. I remember the dance with Matt and Dad,  I remember the awesome catches for the bouquet and garter. I remember the few quiet minutes I had with Mum while she helped me change. I remember leaving for our honeymoon - we had a little bit of car "trouble: :)  The day was amazing.

This is Matt getting ready :)

and this is me getting ready

awesome bridesmaids

the choir sang "Oh Happy Day" as we excited

I LOVE the joy on my parents face!!!

first dance

perhaps one of my favorite photos

best maid of honor ever

Landon really wanted the garter

And that was just the start to the most incredible journey of our lives.

the surprise of a guitar

I don't know if it's all dads or just mine, but he's next to impossible to shop for. For years, in fact, probably up until this birthday, he's been given books, coffee mugs, occasionally a new shirt or two. It's never a surprise. And it's a little frustrating because it's his birthday and then nine days latter, I have to give him ANOTHER gift that he knows about and is completely unexciting because it's Christmas! Also, when we go to restaurants, he adventurous and will get something totally random, but for birthday cake/dessert, it's cheesecake. 99.9% of the time. But this year, it was different :D!! I didn't give him a book and he didn't get a coffee mug. He got a guitar (from all of us I guess). Awesome!! And, rather than surprising him with, he surprise all his kids with it! Not that it was for us, but we all were like "WOW! A guitar!!" Way to branch out!!

Happy Birthday, Dad! Love you :)

ours

In a few days, Matt and I will have been married for a month. That's crazy. It seems like the honeymoon was months ago, but it was just yesterday that I was running around like a chicken with my head cut off trying to get everything done for the big day. Life has slowed down considerably, but there are still a million things left to do like getting my named changed on my driver's license, comb bank accounts, finish thank yous,  and get my stuff out of boxes and suitcases and into drawers and closets. Yesterday, I finally moved my stuff into the bathroom and it hit me: I'm LIVING here. To stay. I'm married. I'm living with my husband. This is our home. I don't have to spend the next few months going back and forth, keeping my space separate from him, or anyone else for that matter. He's stuff is mine, mine is his and this place is ours.

a thank you and a few photos

I didn't know how to write this post. All I can say is thank you to all the people who were involved in our wedding, to all who prayed prayers, served and attended. We are so blessed and we appreciate you so much. Thank you and God Bless. (All photos were taken by John Hooker)

This is how Matt waited for the wedding to start.... Oh how I love this man!! :)

This is how my dad and I waited..... and this is classic Lloyd

Our first kiss as husband and wife!

Right after we exited the ceremony, thrilled to married!!

A hug from Mum

At the Red Barn, the place of our reception