The 21st of May

I'm not sure what the wonderful part was; well, other than when he asked me to marry him. :) It might have been when we pulled up, and I saw the beautiful set up and realized what was happening. It might have been when he told me that he chosen the place to eat because that is where he asked for my number and he had another important question to ask me. It might have been been when we went to see his parents who had set everything up out at the refugee and his dad hugged me and exclaimed "I have a daughter!" It might have been when I called my mum and I couldn't say much because I was speechless but she could hear my smile and joy through the phone. It also might have been when I found out the story about the ring, or when I was told that if Matthew didn't propose to me soon, his mom would.

What I saw when we pulled up to the Refugee - Set up by Matthew's parents

The letter he read to me and the ring...photos will never do it justice

Lovely Ladies

I've been missing taking pictures, editing...my photo therapy. So here are some pics that I've taken in the past and have just now gotten round to editing... :)

Oh Beth...sas, gorgeous, class.....

Emmy, she's fourteen....

I don't think I'll ever get the right color balance on this photo but I love it. Mary, if you get tired of school, you could model. 

Flannery: a beautiful picture of childhood.

Emma and Sam, our old dog. She loved him, and he loved her.

Family Resemblance

I feel like whenever I go to Jackson, I hear "Oh, your Emmy's (or Beth's) sister? Y'all look just alike!"And yeah, it bugs me.

When we were little, Beth and I would dance to the song "Sisters" from the movie White Christmas. We would wear the poodle skirts our Mum had made for us for the Sock Hop, a dance at the elementary school we attended. Beth's was blue, and mine was pink. We shared a room for a number of years, and then when she turned 10 (I think it was then), she moved into her own room, and Emmy moved in with me. When each had our own twin sized bunk, but there was a time (a rather long time) where she and I would sleep in the same bed. At heart, we're both cuddlers.

Whenever people would say that we looked alike, it'd drive us nuts and I'd be thinkin' are they blind???  Beth has ridiculously gorgeous, thick, straight hair, clear blue eyes, and a fairish complexion, a quick wit and sassy personality. Emmy has hair that is just as gorgeous and straight and thick and Beth, but in a very different color....heck, the girl gets naturally perfect blond highlights in the summer! Her eyes are brown and she is disgusting good at school, especially math and science which at times makes me wonder if she really is a Robertson. I'm the shortest, which is something that Emmy enjoys reminding me of. My hair is curly and usually rules me rather than I ruling it. When I was little, I longed to trade my green eyes for blue or brown, (I was sure anything was better than green) and my curly hair for the stunning locks of my sisters.

I had a blast taking pics of Beth and Emmy a few months ago, and this past year a friend of ours, Lindsey Scott took the photo of me.

Looking at photos of us, I still don't see a lot of resemblance. It really doesn't matter though, and looking at pictures makes me see that it is such a complement to hear that I look like them. They are so beautiful, and I am so blessed.

Blooming Where You're Planted

I live life trying to get to the next stage, trying to accomplish the next thing on the checklist, striving to reach the next, better destination. Something my Mum has always told me is to bloom where you're planted. I was never a fan of the saying because it was basically saying to not only be content with where you are and whatever you have but also to use what's available to the best of your abilities, in a way that glorifies the Lord. I knew of plenty of ways I could glorify the Lord in other places, or how I would be very useful if I had a particular set of gifts or than the ones I had. Ultimately, my thought process was, once I'm moved to a fabulous location and given a spectacular, showy set of gifts, I'd be good to go :)

God's moved me to Starkville and I've spent a long time denying it. I still loathe the name. Stark: stripped, barren, boring... (what a unpleasant word!!). Ville....vile..... One of my good friends will be in Africa ministering to orphans (something I've been longing to do for a number of years), the other will be in Memphis, doing urban ministries in the ghetto. I'll be on campus, working or taking classes. I did choose to do this, once again, so I can get ahead, or rather so that I don't "get behind." My best friend will be there and that is an awesome blessing.

Now, only after nearly 20 years of hearing this phrase from my Mum, I'm starting to figure out what that means. Even though I can't see the opportunities I want to see in Starkville, the best opportunities for me right now are there. Learning how to live in Starkville right now doesn't mean that I'll spend the rest of my life there, its just an opportunity for growth. It means learning how to work with what is there. It's still not easy to believe, in fact I rarely believe, that even in the less than ideal conditions, the conditions are best for me.  It's going to take time to adjust, but thankfully, blooming doesn't have to happen over night.

What a Year

Noxubee Refuge - location of mine and Matt's first date :)

Simone, one of my favorite kids to babysit - Winter 2010

Branson, MO -- Fall Break 2010

MSU Homecoming, sideline view - October 2010 

Food Poker at the Guys House

Lacrosse Game - Spring 2011

Frisbee Games, all throughout the Spring 2011 Semester. I must have at least 500 photos

Inner Tube Water Polo -- one of the most legit intramural sports ever! Spring 2011

Sledding in Chattanooga, TN - Christmas 2010

Matthew in Destin -- Spring Break 2011

Seth and Mary Kathryn's Wedding -- April 2011

One of the roses Matthew gave me :)

Moving Forward

It was a year and two days ago today I that I broke up with him. It's the only breakup I've ever been through but I think it constitutes as a bad one. But, how a could there have been a good breakup when it was such a terrible relationship?

Four days ago, I celebrated the 6 month mark with my best friend. I told him from the get-go that it'll be hard, that I was wounded in a big way and that this relationship was going to be a lot of work.  In a way it seems like we've been dating so much longer than that, and at the same time, it seems like no time at all. We laugh together, often. He occasionally lets me drive his truck (whom he lovingly named "Sugar"). He knows how to get on my last never, even more quickly than my siblings can. I still won't drink sweet tea, and he still doesn't like coffee.  He is the opposite of me in the sense that he's practical....very practical...as in he doesn't like the Eiffel Tower because it doesn't serve a purpose. I'm like IT'S PRETTY!! WHAT ELSE DOES IT NEED TO BE?!?!?!

We're learning how to talk to each other, how to communicate in a way the other understands. I'm coming to find that what learning how to communicate is really learning how to listen.

I never thought I'd get through the breakup. I never thought I'd trust a guy again. Truth be told, I'm not having to learn how to trust a guy, I'm learning how to trust a Man.